| Locked up in your little world makes me feel so insecure |
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[13 May 2009|09:59pm] |
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mood |
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 crushed |
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[27 Oct 2007|06:54am] |
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mood |
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crushed |
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music |
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My American Heart - Tired and Uninspired |
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he's not the earth beneath my feet.
he's not my gravity.
he's not the one for me.
why is this so goddamn hard to accept?
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[30 Aug 2007|07:21pm] |
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mood |
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 hot |
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music |
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Raider game. |
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whattup y0
it's freakishly hot in my room =[
started school this week woot woot!!
i have:
philosophy 8 critical thinking
pe 34 fitness for living
history of the u.s.
spanish 2
Tutor A
Tutor B
yeyuh. i hope this semester goes well, and i hope to meet a lot of new friends at school.
i also started my new job on monday.
i'm a tutor and lab assistant in the writing and reading assistance center.
pretty much it's an english lab and i do things hahaha.
i need to find a second job cause i only get like 8 1/2 hours a week.
and i only get paid once a month.
but hey it's good practice for my future as a teacher.
boys are not so lame i suppose.
okay, so i am speaking lies to myself...
but still.
do you ever wish that someone cared just a little more?
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[18 Aug 2007|11:10am] |
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music |
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This Providence - Beautiful Rescue |
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so i decide to wash my car.
it was ridicuously hot.
after i had to vacuum it.
what do i find?
2 shirts
1 jacket
tons of sand
slurpee cup
pair of shoes
scarf
i found a shit load of other things.
but whats so significant about those?
they are his shirts.
it was his jacket.
it was sand from the blanket we took to the beach before i left on vacation.
it was his sample slurpee cup from 7-11 day
it was the pair of shoes he got me for christmas
it was the barf scarf from cat's aunts house.
if it hurts that much to pack up that stuff
i can't imagine how sad i am going to be when i clean my room.
because if i have all that stuff just in my car
i'll probably find him under my bed or something
i'm weak.
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| i WILL be good enough. |
[30 Jul 2007|07:28pm] |
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mood |
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crappy |
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music |
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Radiohead - Let Down |
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note to self:
there will be radder, nicer, more caring, more considerate, more honest, cuter, and smarter.
i just have to find him.
in the meantime, me duele el corazon.
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| ouch. |
[18 Jul 2007|03:11pm] |
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mood |
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 numb |
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what i have learned this week.
boys are assholes.
most girls are horrible friends.
when you do find those girls that aren't horrible friends,
they will pick boys over you because they are dumb.
they will proceed to try to make friends with you again
when the boys leave them.
boys leave them because they are assholes. it's a vicous cycle.
people are selfish and very inconsiderate.
the problem: i try to fix that.
this week i've realized when people ask for help
they don't mean it.
when you try to help people
they get mad.
i know people need friends in life to survive,
to help them through life.
i just lost 3 friends this week.
one chose a boy over me, for the second time.
one is a longtime friend and once a crush that i realized is completely
immature and only cares about himself.
one is someone i completely and unconditionally loved inside and out for a year,
only to realize that he is an inconsiderate asshole who selfishly enjoyed using me.
the problem: i still want to go back and try to befriend each one of them. i want to always be there for them.
all three of them can be complete assholes yet i love all of them to death.
do i tell her it's okay, ignore it and go back to being best friends?
do i tell him i can accept that he is a selfish jerk and still hang out with him?
do i tell him that even though he has treated me like complete shit,
i am still willing to try to make things better?
i am completely exhausted.
i am SO tired of dealing with all of this.
i tried to put it aside for so long,
and now it has come back 3-fold.
i try to be a really good friend. i try to be the sweetest most caring, honest, appreciative, etc. person i can be.
but i now realize that this isn't going to get me anywhere.
but neither will being a total bitch.
where's the middle ground?
where can i find people who will appreciate me.
who will love me for me.
i thought that all 3 of those people embodied those characteristics
the problem: they don't.
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| poop |
[05 Jul 2007|08:37pm] |
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mood |
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 aggravated |
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music |
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Circa Survive |
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I can close my eyes to things I don't want to see, but I can't close my heart to things I don't want to feel. Hearing his voice saves me, seeing his body heals me, his touch brings life back to my soul.
Why do people have to lose things to find out what they really mean or what they are really worth?
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| Dangerous |
[28 Jun 2007|09:50am] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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My American Heart |
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You may say, our lives have changed,
But baby, I promise that we're still the same.
And the leaves are falling quicker,
Like a rain drop in the spring.
I think it's your love that I cannot believe.
Give me attention.
Give me some time.
You see, your love is just so dangerous,
It should be a crime.
To notice when you're leaving me without any sounds.
Your love is just so dangerous, sometimes.
Oh, I know this might sound selfish,
But I love you by yourself.
When it comes to your affection,
You'd rather be with someone else.
And my tears are falling quicker,
than a snowflake in the winter.
I just wish I had the better side of your heart.
Give me attention.
Give me some time.
You see, your love is just so dangerous,
It should be a crime.
To notice when you're leaving me without any sounds.
Your love is just so dangerous,
So dangerous.
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| 311 Day =] |
[11 Mar 2007|03:12pm] |
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mood |
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 excited |
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music |
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311 Day DVD - My Stoney Baby |
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| =( ugh =( |
[27 Feb 2007|07:55pm] |
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mood |
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 frustrated |
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music |
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Rich Boy - Throw Some D's |
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s;odiufalsndjf;oa8ys'dfgajs'dpf0ase'vfoiaewzxdvasdlfiajsd;oivivhwasdlifyulp
so frustrating.
i need to get over it [him], like NOW.
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| WEEZAH |
[14 Feb 2007|10:24pm] |
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mood |
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contemplative |
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music |
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Weezer - Only in Dreams |
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=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=
Happy 15th anniversary to weezer/happy weezer t-shirt day and happy Valentine's day too.
=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=w=
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| la la la |
[10 Feb 2007|11:16am] |
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mood |
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 embarrassed |
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music |
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voicemail |
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don't you hate when you do something stupid?
PFFT.
oh well. live with no regrets.
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| cough. |
[06 Feb 2007|10:36pm] |
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mood |
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 groggy |
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music |
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House of Blow - Afghani Black |
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so i'm completely ill...and it's really annoying. i'm always sick =[
i took too many meds this morning...i got all drowsy and passed out on my bed...didnt wake up for 6 hours. that's no good.
especially since when i woke up i still felt like poopie =[
i hope i feel better tomorrow. i think my sister and i are going shopping. i like her =]
HEY. need your help. new phone needed. verizon is my service proviiiider. any suggestions?
text me. while im bored on my deathbed..phone calls make my throat hurt even more haha.
p.s. i don't think i had a valentine last year, and i want one this year =]
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| boo. |
[04 Feb 2007|11:25am] |
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mood |
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annoyed |
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music |
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The Sound of Animals Fighting |
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i've always hated girls...and now i realize i hate boys too haha.
well except you of course =]
in other news...i just met my new cousin yesterday. my aunt and uncle adopted a premature babayyyy. he's probably the happiest kid i've ever seen haha. oh and he makes goofy faces...
p.s.
REAL EYES
REALIZE
REAL LIES
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| trabajo!!! |
[04 Nov 2006|10:42am] |
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mood |
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 giggly |
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music |
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Cheap Trick - Dream Police |
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bet you never thought you'd see the day where Lauren Ro...
GETS A JOB!!!!
hahaha. i told you i would fools.
so now i work at...
how rad is that?
I'm excited =]
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| Rivers |
[13 Jun 2006|01:10am] |
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mood |
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 Left Out |
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♥♥♥♥♥
Happy Birthday Rivers, you old man you!
♥♥♥♥♥
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[11 Mar 2006|08:34pm] |
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mood |
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 peaceful |
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music |
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311 |
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♥ Stay positive and love your life ♥
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| =w= of course |
[14 Feb 2006|08:25pm] |
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mood |
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 geeky |
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music |
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WWWEEEZZZZZZEEERRR!!!!!!!! |
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Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday dear Weezer,
Happy Birthday to you!
yeauh that's right. It's that time of the year again :D
HAPPY INTERNATIONAL =WEEZER= [T-Shirt] DAY!!!
=14 years and STILL rockin'=
Oh and Happy Valentines Day or whatevz. I'm not bitter, it's just that =w= day is just more important :D
Wow, I love being a geek... XD
PEACE!
=w=<3=w=
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| Oh how I love to complain... |
[22 Nov 2005|07:45pm] |
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mood |
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drained |
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music |
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Apples in Stereo |
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I recieved two shots today at the doctor's office. :(
Also, my lungs are terrible, meaning my asthma (lol @ assmar)they put me on a different medication, ugh.
So now i have to take some stupid inhaled steroid twice a day every day until next April.
I'm allergic to pet dander too, so my doctor told me to stay away from my dog now. As you know, my dog is one of the most important things in my life. If I'm out there too long with him, I can't breathe. So now i have to resort to just greeting him for a short amount of time, until i get better.
I hate being so sickly.
OH , there is also no cure for the allergy I have had for the past 4 years. I am allergic to the cold. Or as the doctor said, weather changes. But she lies, cause it's the cold, not the heat. Either way it's sad, huh?
I hate going to the doctors all of the time. It gets old fast. Why must I have so many health issues? Dustin thinks im going to die. This makes me sad.
My computer has a virus, boo.
*sigh*
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